The princess, the chaudhry and the short march - Adiah Afraz - Monday, May 02, 2011

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They fought and they fought and they got to each other’s throats and then they made up. Moral of the story: Two Chaudhries in hand are better than two non Chaudhries out of hand.

Message for the nation: This might have been Qatil league in 2007, but this is 2011. And frankly my dears, in 2011, we don’t give a damn!!! Haven’t you heard, yesterday was another day?!

If history was ever to document the twists and turns of the PPP-Muslim League love story, then this bizarre PQN love triangle with all its break ups and make ups, the forward blocks and the progressive blocks, the like mindeds and the unlike mindeds, the alphabetical factions and the dissident sections, the mudslinging and the praise singing, the fake embraces and the fallen graces, would together make for the most fascinating chapter indeed.

This off again, on again melodrama is way better than any royal romance any day. So all those who have been unfocussed enough not to be paying attention and have been busy enough watching a prince getting married in another part of the world this weekend, should wake up and decide once and for all: What is more important for you, Kate Middleton or Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain? Tough choice to make, I know, but what is life if there are no tough choices to make?

Wake up and look around people. Kate Middleton is old story, while the great Chaudhry, like the proverbial phoenix, has risen from the ashes of the Charter of Democracy. This is the rise and rise of the fallen Chaudhries and that has got to be much more interesting than somebody who has Middle for a middle name. So isn’t it our national obligation to stop obsessing over the former and start worrying about the latter?

Finally!! Our saviours from Gujrat have arrived (yet again). And arrived, they have, with a saviours’ agenda. They are calling it the ‘unified national agenda’, and what agenda it is.

Revive the economy, they say; curb inflation, improve the law and order situation, and deal with the energy crisis. Do all of this and we are all yours. After all mockery is the best revenge.

Ok, I concede that they didn’t say the last part, and I with my layman’s license have made it up in my head but the rest of it is true, I promise. And isn’t it what we call political genius, the major breakthrough in the unsolved mystery of the woes of Pakistan. I mean why didn’t anyone think of this before?

If all we had to do was to think about inflation and energy crisis and the dying people in a dying economy then why did we have to wait so long?

So upset I am with the long wait that I have decided to make a scary poster, and go for a long march around Kalma Chowk. My apologies for not going further than that but then how can I when they have dug up the whole place, and there are too many holes in the ground for a long march to hold itself together. Plus all that dust makes me sneeze, and when I am sneezing it is very difficult to think patriotic, especially during rush hours.

So instead of hopping onto the bandwagon of long marches that yield nothing, I am seriously contemplating going for a short march that yields nothing. If the result is the same at the end of the day, then why take the trouble of marching long in the heat. This way it is economical, saves time and best of all can be done twice a day every day. Long live the princess, long live the Chaudhry and long live the short march. May at least one of them yield something. And soon.

The writer is an academic. Email: adiahafraz

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