Wisdom guru - Farooq Sulehria - Saturday, July 17, 2010

Source : www.thenews.com.pk

A documentary I happened to watch a while ago on Swedish TV, featuring Hollywood star Mike Myers and philosophy guru Deepak Chopra, introduced me to an enlightening new world. The programme so thrilled me that the very next morning I rushed to Stockholm's Stadsbibliotek (City Library) to lay my hands on whatever pearls of Chopra wisdom were available in book form. I had no idea why Deepak Chopra, an Indian settled in the USA, is all the rage. Stupid me.

Author of 50 books, 13 of them achieving bestselling-status, "philosopher" Deepak Chopra runs a spiritual business worth $20 million. Pondering over the philosopher's entrepreneurship, I began to question the abilities of Karl Marx, whom I had until now held in great esteem, that German who authored Das Kapital and died penniless. Wasting his life deconstructing capital, Marx did not come upon this simple Indian philosophy brilliantly simplified by our wisdom guru: "Affluence is simply our natural state."

Patience, dear readers! Deepak Chopra knows you are wondering why the hell 80 per cent of Indians live below the poverty line despite their Indian philosophy asserting naturalness of affluence. "People who have achieved an enormous amount of success are inherently very spiritual," he explains. Also, "both health and wealth are largely self-generated." Why? Because "we reap what we sow." Henceforth, you better ignore saintly fatwas like Tolstoy's: "Behind every big fortune, there is a big crime."

So just keep on generating wealth through a sow-and-reap mechanism. And when you have generated enough wealth, you are welcome to Deepak Chopra's Club of Inherently Spiritual Celebrities. Once a club member, you will rub shoulders with the likes of Demi Moor, Michael Miken, Elizabeth Taylor, Winona Rider, Debra Winger, Madonna; even Mikhail Gorbachev and Hillary Clinton.

The ruling elite's spirituality is a universal trait. Hillary Clinton has only recently reached our wisdom guru. Earlier, she has been wasting time with sacred psychologist Jean Houston and her friend Mary Catherine Bateson, an anthropologist famous for her study on "non-traditional life paths."

In the good old days, when Hillary was a resident of the White House, Houston and Bateson facilitated her conversation with the spirits of Eleanor Roosevelt and Mahatma Gandhi. But let's not be diverted by the subject of Hillary's past, lest we start talking about some bitchy White House intern. "Keep focussed" is the essence of Chopra's wisdom.

At his health centre, our wisdom guru will not merely help you guard your inherent spirituality, he will also help you stay Forever Young. After all, "ageing is only learned behaviour." I haven't found out if 63-year-old Chopra's jet-black hair owes to Kala Kola hair dye. Yet I am convinced when he says: "People grow old and die because they have seen other people grow old and die."

Never mind Princess Diana's lunch with Deepak Chopra shortly before her death. Never mind if Chopra's longevity formula did not work for Michael Jackson either. But because of his teachings, Demi Moore aspires to unheard-of longevity. "Even 130 years isn't impossible," she says. After reading Chopra's bestselling Grow Younger, Live Longer, I agree with her.

I would suggest that all jobless workers in the USA, hit hard by the current financial crisis, immediately get themselves join the "Seduction of Spirit" Meditation Retreat as our benevolent philosopher is offering a $375 discount in view of the grim economic situation. And, my-fellow jobless comrades! Instead of burning with rage at capitalism or waiting for an stupid economic upswing, read Creating Affluence. Meantime, heal thy soul. A reading of Chopra's How to Know God will certainly help.

The writer is a freelance contributor. Email: mfsulehria@ hotmail.com

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